Friday, September 30, 2011

More From Court

I think that some things go without saying, but apparently I am wrong.  So listen up, folks:

If a man chokes you to the point that you defecate and then he takes it and smears it all over your body, you don't have to stay with him because he has cable.  EVERYONE has cable.  Certainly, you can find someone that won't smear poop all over your body in exchange for the privilege of watching his HBO.  And, for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT tell the police that his cable is the reason you stay with him.  Comments like that just end up on blogs like this one.

Fyi--POLICE CARS ARE WIRED FOR SOUND.  If you are ever in the backseat of a cruiser, DO NOT say anything like, "I told you to put the drugs up your p*ssy!"  And NEVER say, "Tell them you got the drugs from a drug dealer--some other drug dealer, not me."  You pretty much have no defense at that point.

When you beat your girlfriend/wife and you appear for court, DO NOT yell at her, for EVERYONE in the court to hear, that she better change or story or you will f*ck her up.  Again, you have made sure that you have no defense.

And this may come as a shock to you, but your public defender is a REAL attorney.  You don't get out of your last two periods of high school to go to your job as a public defender.  You actually have to have an undergraduate degree AND go to law school, AND pass the bar exam to be a public defender.  When you tell your public defender that you want a REAL attorney, you accomplish two things:  you confirm that you are, in fact, a moron; and you make your public defender secretly wish that you get the death penalty for shoplifting.

Now that we have all that straight, carry on with your day, hopefully a little more informed.

4 comments:

  1. Atty Dinsio, Well said and good info to know..For me some of it is a little too late...I have been a bad girl at times and know what it is like to be in the back seat of a cruiser..My mouth didn't stop using the f word...I however didn't know that they are wired for sound....I will be careful in the future...Thanks for the court room report...I appreciate you advice, and love you very much! Be blessed, Just be-cuzzzzzzzzzzzz....

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  2. Taking notes should I ever get arrested and have to appear in court.

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  3. When I'm confronted by a member of the police department, I have only 4 words for them ever. "I want my lawyer." Yeah, even if they are asking me the time, that's my response. The only time I've been in the back of a police car, I was making out with a cop.

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  4. I have been in the back of a police car. And I did not know that.

    Good to know. :)

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